Discouragement or the slip into disillusioned lack of motivation can be a common enough aliment that if left untreated escalates quickly to cause full debilitation, social isolation and loss of engagement with the simple wonders of everyday. A shift can be observed to a state of disinterest and general enthused behavior that is neither destructive or productive it is merely a muted and numb existence. Who in their right mind would choose this? Does anyone? I think it is probably more accurate to say that this scenario can happen to different degrees to us rather than being chosen by anyone intentionally. I know personally I can be prone to losing focus and allowing tiredness to transform itself into a cloud that darkens my outlook and hinders my ability to feel fully engaged and fully appreciative of the day to day. Not everyday is extraordinary, nor should it be dare then the truly wondrous pass by unrecognized, muddled by the collectivity of mediocrity. I at times find inspiration to be its most elusive following an experience that surpassed expectations, left you reeling in its remembrance and thrown by how out of the ordinary this otherwise unremarkable occurrence was.
Take for example the idea of sharing a connection. We make connections, acquire new acquaintances and develop relationships everyday. This in itself is nothing remarkable yet the experience of sharing a moment, conversation, look of recognition or even just a hello that feels more than the usual, more than the expected and doesn’t require the conventional classification, justification or can fit any explanation. It is simply what it is and nothing less or more. For me I can admit with gratitude that I have felt this a few times, not a finite amount nor an excessive amount but a sufficient amount to form the opinion that it is not an unattainable experience, not something for only the fortunate few. On the contrary it it something for the few willing to be nothing more than who they are, the few comfortable to sit and live their lives. The few who disregard the expectation to act or carry out an act, to behave in accordance to a code or social norm. Its still not a fully reasoned thought of mine but right now I feel that this connection can be achieved by very simply communicating.
By this though I don’t mean the what seems now to be typical communication or conversation, I mean honest no holds barred type of conversation. Conversation that risks embarrassment and usually delivers, that exposes and acts as therapy, that shares a part of you and draws you closer to someone like nothing else could. Believe me I am not so naive to think this romanticized idea of communication could or should be the only form, the only method, could suit every situation. I understand and love the nuances and different languages of communication. The need for different styles, for different approaches to suit shall we say different objectives but I also think this only extends to a certain degree beyond which there needs to be a little more transparency.
I am misinterpreted a lot of the time due to the fact, I think, that people are confused by directness, confused by openness and so become regardless of which particular emotion it is the absolute most extreme version of it (ie either aggressively flirtatious or belligerently defensive). Probably the most concise example I can give and most likely easily related to is in the context of romance and relationships of that nature in their initial and introductory stages. I have noticed that when beginning an interaction with the opposite sex regardless of age, experience, student, professional, academic or artistic tendencies, generically in my experience the response will be the same if a very specific approach to conversation is adopted. I will preface this by stating I am ABSOLUTELY no expert in men or relationships but in my own personal experience I have found certain things to be true.
One the concept of ‘league’ and being out of someones is ridiculous.
Two flirtation is a given with attraction but it does not need to debilitate your ability to hold a conversation.
Three there is nothing and I mean nothing that will attract a man more than someone who can captivate them and the most effective way to hold captivation is through conversation. I don’t mean that there needs to be philosophy and theological talk but simply that there needs to be some manner of discussion, this is the primary basis for engagement with each other, for links to be made and common ground established.
I recognize that I may be a slightly tough personality but if I find myself uninterested and not engaged I would prefer not to waste someones time and rather simply facilitate change. By change I mean and for me I picture musical chairs, make a rotation, try again, keep moving and always remain childishly optimistic. I have done this, I have also had it done to me. This is not a failing it is an inevitability. I feel is so important is to distinguish between a situation of rejection and a situation of release. Not everyone is going to be matched, you may have an excellent conversation with someone yet find it falls away and then the weak thread the tided you slips its binds releasing your connection. This is not the cloud of doom I spoke of earlier, it is not an acceptable scenario to abandon hope and become despondent. This is only one type of connection among an abundance of variations. Others you will find hold fast and become stronger. One doesn’t invalidate the other, they stand to distinguish themselves, they are purposely opposite. I know for me without the particular amount of loss I have experienced I wouldn’t know what it means to be drawn close, to feel a thread wound towards someone, to be pulled in as opposed to being let leave. There is such a profound difference yet unfortunately I think that most people have lost the ability to differentiate between both scenarios and can become disillusioned to the possibly or blind to the reality.
I find myself sometimes in need of being reminded that inspiration is not static, it is not docile or something that seeks. It is coquettish and desires to be sought. You have to chase inspiration, recognize it when it is before you and pull it from the experiences that occur all around you. I am inspired by people, by words and wisdom especially when those you are speaking to don’t even know just how remarkable they are. Embrace inspiration and be willing to allow it into your life when it crosses your path. Inspiration is subjective, selective and fleeting, you need to actively seek it, never cease until you find it and then allow yourself to feel it.
What Inspires You?