So much has happened and changed recently that it may be only a week since last I posted but it feels like a month. I feel as though I have somewhat neglected writing but it was unavoidable, to begin I was deep in the job application process and that commanded most of my time and following that I went to the seaside and subsequently was left without an internet connection, frustrating but also a wonderful and freeing feeling.
The first update to come from the past week was that the job in question I applied and interviewed for graciously hired me and transitioned me from graduating student to full time employee in the big wide world. It came as a shock to be sure but a very welcome one that is both filling me with intense anxiety but also endless excitement. It is a huge change in my life and definitely an unexpected direction for me but the adventure continues and a new chapter is definitely beginning. Everybody was so congratulatory and kind it made me realize how incredible this situation is and how lucky I am.
Following being hired Monday I drove to the seaside and stayed in the bliss that is Kilkee for a few days. I had been there on a day trip once or twice but hadn’t had the chance to spend time there properly in two years. It had gotten to the stage that I was dreaming of swimming in the ocean so strong was my desire to be in the water again. The day I arrived I abandoned my things, gathered companionship and directly made my way to my absolute favourite swimming location along the coast of Kilkee. Just walking to the waters edge made me instantly happy.
It was paradise, late in the afternoon, the sun low in the sky, the tide fully in thus creating a paradise cove to welcome me back into the sea. There are few things I like more than being in salt water, endless blue below me and the current of the ocean lulling me to peacefulness. The few days I stole in Kilkee were wonderful, celebrations and laughs were shared, midnight walks on the beach had and lazy days in the sun indulged in. It was a relaxing escape and as it would seem it was my unintentional Summer holiday.
Upon returning home obviously I have had to spend some time getting organized for my new job as further adding to the whirlwind of it all I being this Monday coming. I am really a bundle of emotions about the whole thing and still a little in shock with the suddenness. I am so grateful for this opportunity and so eager to do well, be of use and not disappoint. I think that is a common fear, the fear of not being able for the task at hand and very much wanting to please and do well when given an opportunity. I so want not to waste this chance and feel excitement at what lies ahead. I am naturally an anxious and cautious person, I overthink and want things to be perfect. I know life doesn’t work like that and there lies my confliction of emotions, the strength of my personality to try 110% and feel compelled to be perfect but also knowing I need to just embrace what comes and try to release my speculations and worries. I try and reinforce positive thinking and focus on there being nothing but positivity ahead even though my inner self worries and wants to think the worst. It a very big step, big commitment and big challenge so who knows that’s next, we shall see starting Monday.